“This is supposed to be the time of my life – the nest is empty; but now Mom needs me.”

So, I really think Mom is starting to like her new digs – she seems to be settling in quite well. She’s still apprehensive about being alone at night and asks me to stay “just 5 more minutes” every night. My husband says how proud he is of me for standing my ground and telling her “no”, but I just think I sound mean. There’s not really a nice way of saying no…. no matter how you say it, it’s still no, right?

My husband and I take nightly walks – mainly to destress and talk about what we are feeling and and how we can help each other deal with our new situation. I am so lucky to have my wonderful husband who is understanding and caring. I’ve talked with so many people who are in our same situation and they tell me it’s a real strain on their relationship. There is no way I want that to happen – my husband will always come first and I will always consider his feelings before I do or make any decisions concerning my mom. I can’t believe my husband is doing this for my mom – it’s a huge undertaking. Is that the right word? Undertaking? It just sounds so final!

The main thing I want is for my husband and me to have “our” life – the life we are supposed to have when the kids are grown and off doing their own thing. I’m afraid our life is going to be put on hold – I just hope we can enjoy it when we do get it. 

Wow! This post is pretty negative. There has to be an upside to our situation…. I guess the upside is that my mom is so much better off being near us. I haven’t found an upside for me and my husband, but I’m working on it.

What I Learned: Having a supportive “significant other” is half the battle.