“This is supposed to be the time of my life – the nest is empty; but now Mom needs me.”

The weekend is here and this is the time my husband and I really enjoy our time together. We relax, we watch movies, we stay up late. Wrong night to stay up late! Mom called at 4 am sounding confused and disoriented and wanted me to go over and help her. Well I’ve only been in bed for a couple of hours and I’m in one of those dazed states – you know the one, where you’ve been in a deep sleep and then suddenly woken up. I try to help her over the phone so I don’t have to get my tired butt out of bed, but I succumb to her pleas.

So I get over there and Mom is sitting in her kitchen, obviously confused. I asked her if she knew what time it was and she said, “Yes, 4 in the afternoon”. Oh geeze…. I explained the actual time to Mom, asked what was going on and if she was OK. She told me she was hungry but was weak and didn’t feel like making anything. She then asked me to get her a piece of bread. Really? She called me over at 4 am to get her a piece of bread?

Unfortunately, being a little dazed and confused myself, I kinda lost it. I told Mom that it wasn’t right that she calls me at 4 am to get her a piece of bread and that if she needed that kind of assistance she needed to get a caregiver. Dang! That sounded mean.

After I calmed down and got Mom her piece of bread I apologized for “barking” at her. I made her something better to eat and sat with her for a while and then suggested she get some sleep. She did.

Next morning when I stopped over to make sure she was doing OK, she was in a fantastic mood and didn’t even mention our 4 am “chat”. Just as well…

What I Learned: Caring for my ageing parent is difficult at times, but it’s also difficult for Mom.